When someone says “polygamy”, the ugly face of the Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints ruled by Warren Jeffs and the cookie cutter clothes and hairdos immediately come to mind.  The darker side of polygamy exists right there in the prairie dresses and teenage marriages that cast an ugly light onto a very real and often healthy polygamous relationships.  With the Warren Jeffs fiasco, other sects of the FLDS who have nothing to do with his brainwashing or underage marriages.  As a matter of fact, these families are not protected by any law and risk arrest that will lead to the scattering, shattering and cruel handling of a loving family that works.  A good example of such healthiness exists in the relationship of Kody Brown, Meri Brown, Janelle Brown, Christine Brown and Robyn Brown chronicled in TLC’s show “Sister Wives.  It also fails to shed a light on other practiced polygamy households that observe God’s word and works through their marriage and their children’s happiness.  Muslims have long approved of plural marriage and, as a matter of fact, I have had only two non-polygamous relationships in my life one with an ex and the other with my current spouse.  All other relationships have been open, outright polygamous, and relatively happy relationships as long as they can possibly last.  In America, many people are appalled and not supportive of such relationships mainly because what they can’t entertain in their own mind remains a mystery that has fear attached to it.  The fact that there is always a period in everyone’s life where we come to choose morality and healthy relationships as a plural family unit.  It does  work, it is natural, and should be delve into the word of God, there are many polygamous relationships that exist there.  The problem is that it happens in America and brings out the ugly haters of polygamy and what it stands for.  I have been married six times, and the current relationship I have is awesome and sharing of each other exclusively.  I can’t say that it is easy to be monogamous, my life seems geared toward that but I respect my current spouse and I enjoy a monogamous relationship.

Polygamy, also called “polly” is when a man takes on numerous wives to have a long family with.  That is the reality of polygamy, not the Warren Jeffs sect that chooses wives for men.  Even in other FLDS, Muslim, and Paganism faith based households are polygamous.  For Muslims, the man must be able to treat his first wife the exact same way as the second wife both spiritually, monetarily, and physically.  Polyandry is also called “polly” but it is a woman who has many men that she is married to.  Though polyandry is not supported in Abrahamic Faith, it is supported by many others under the order of “Harm none, do as thou wilt”.  There are just as many happy families living a polyandry lifestyle that is supportive and deeply loving of one another and children.  Not everyone is cut out to be accepting of sharing their woman or man with other women or men.  To some I have stumbled into on the internet, they are hateful to such lifestyle choices with great prejudice and disdain.  People who are monogamous are often abrasive to such relationships, spewing hatred and hurtful communication to those who have healthy polly lifestyles.

A great number of both polly relationships hide their definition to avoid the police shattering their family unit because it is illegal, but such laws are often helpful to a tunnel vision opinion that all polly families live in sin and degradation.  This is simply untrue, but people hang on to old ideas to resist any meaningful change of the status quo.  It is also interesting to note that when someone is arrested and charged with polly “crime”, the family is ripped apart and forced to fracture under the cruelty of such laws.  Marriage definitions for every one is rather different.  Some people believe marriage is only for procreation and making a family with children to raise. Some people define marriage through the lens of their religion, feeling it is of celestial importance to be fruitful and multiply in a plural marriage.  The hiding of polly lifestyles in the present time represents an array of unchanging puritan evangelism that is not flexible to the Constitutional right to pursue happiness.  The conservative bases of many churches of Abrahamic religions outlaw both kinds of polly relationships on the grounds that they are righteous and whoever fails to listen to them will burn in hell for all eternity.  Then there is the chugging little train that could where some Christians fail to accept anything remotely different than vanilla sexual relationships or different ideas about the holy definition of marriage.  Then there are always those people who peep into the polly life and come away with perversion accusations.  The fear of the unknown because it may mean change gets caught up in sensational stories of group sex with wives, husbands, and lovers because they seem to feel entitled to have the only right opinion.

Warren Jeffs and his cult have forced women into marriage with older men and some of those women were minors.  The sad reality of his kind of the FLDS is not at all FLDS are like that.  These are families that work and are helpful to children and each other.  Because of Jeffs, we are all lumped into a summary box filed by those who would oppress people with an oppressive religion that gives them the right to do what Jesus/Issa told them not to do: judge others lest ye be judged.   Being polly, being gay, and lumped sum filing of labels for those they feel are perverted will somehow one day include animal/human sex, molestation of children, and the sin of gluttony will prevail and all morals be damned.  That simply isn’t true because the real polly family is about love which is still a mystery to many.

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