Category: Love

The Eye Experiment

In 1968 and again in 1969 and above in 1970, teacher Jane Elliott ran experiments on racism on her class using brown eyes and blue eyes to divide students into groups.  The original documentary and this one shows the effects of what happens when blue eyed children, the first to be treated well, are then treated in a manner consistent with racism to a simple degree.  The behavior of the children that have blue eyes is stunning.  They retreat into themselves, display anger, and often can be seen becoming sad or upset.  Their privilege is gone and now they are forced to be judged as they judged the brown eyes.  At the end of the experiment, on of the blue eyed boys spends a lot of time trying to rip the collar she made them wear so they could tell what color eyes the child had from a distance to simulate skin color reaction in people.  He spent a long time wrapping it around his hands and trying to tear it any way he could but it wouldn’t tear.  Watch this clip as often as you like as I’m not sure how long it’s going to be there for observation purposes.  Soak in the nuances of the blue eyed children’s behavior and notice how they react to their surroundings.

This is what is happening in white society today as whites become the minority in society.

There is discomfort behavior, where often the person reasons that white culture or white exclusivity is failing and needs to somehow be paid attention to such as with white awareness month or white college funds.  The discomfort ranges from frowning upon uncomfortable situations like making a decision if something is racist or not or if it even should qualify as racist.  What’s the big deal, I’m not racist.  Then the agitated behavior when someone is treated differently by a brown eyed person who doesn’t talk to them or treats them with some degree of standoffishness or indifference.  How dare they judge me, I’m not racist.  The agitated behavior also occurs when a brown eyed person is doing something he or she has always done but is now being credited for like going through drill cards faster or not forgetting his or her glasses.  Note especially the behavior that the blue eyed children respond with when compliments are no longer forthcoming and are turned around in an opposing direction, there is agitation and anger there masked with disappointment or unfairness.  Also pay special attention to the kids when they have to wear the collars now.  They are uncomfortable and often act as though it is heavy for them.   Their body language changes and the children actually start acting differently becoming defensive, quiet, plotting and often oversensitive.

I would imagine if the experiment were allowed to continue beyond a week or one day, the rationale of the blue eyed children would become very tense and very edgy or sharp.  “Politically Incorrect” if you will.  Brown eyed children would begin to be ostracized for succeeding and called out for activist roles even though there are pockets of blue eyed children that still believe they are the best there is and that they are the majority.  There would divisional lines drawn up on playgrounds where some brown eyed children would be asked to return to and not leave because it’s where they originally played in the playground.  There would be brown eyed children denied access to areas of the playground where blue eyed children loved to play the most even though those areas are big and their numbers are small.  I can see some blue eyed children that play with the brown eyed children being ostracized and dealt with like they had given up on their own group and have done the unthinkable.  As the children aged and went on to high school, things would become violent and certain behaviors expected out of brown eye children would be ignored in blue eyed children or at least excused.  Detention and suspension would ruin your whole life and someone would never recover from that stigma.  Blue eyed teenagers would begin to oppress the brown eyed students out of certain hallways and causeways, claiming them as their own.  Brown eyed teenagers would fight back by being defiant and loud, doing things they knew would irritate the blue eyed teenagers more.  Soon, things such as simple personal boundaries would be blown out of proportion and violations would be ridiculous and juvenile.  Name calling and finger pointing would occur and the teachers, the teachers would do nothing.  They are too busy trying to educate through this unholy mess using common core learning which teaches how to subtract one from one in a long over-complicated equation.  The government wouldn’t care because they are just kids and can’t vote yet.  The parents would be angry that this is what has been done to their precious children without receiving the lesson from the package.

This my friends, is exactly what is happening today.  Take a moment to check if your eyes are brown  or blue.




I haven’t posted for a while because I have been down, but not knocked out, with taking the medicine for my mental illness called Thorazine.  I do not recommend this drug because it renders you almost completely useless and zombie like causing me to neglect my blog and several other duties like housecleaning for a long period of time.  The drug caused me to gain weight, have extreme stomach issues, heat and heat exhaustion issues, dehydration issues and a plethora of other tiny annoying side effects that caused me to suffer unhappy bodily functions and mental moods.  I was unable to distinguish delusion from reality and had severe issues with surreal becoming real, hallucination complications, voice phenomenon and some heavy weakness of thoughts that made it seem that I couldn’t form rational opinions or complete rational thoughts for longer than two minutes.  I had a series of episodes that were sometimes very long and very confusing, causing me to wonder what my reality was and where I was going on the subject of happenings in current events.  I have changed my medication to the much more reasonably feasible, less haranguing Invega that is very expensive but works better with less side effects and issues than the Thorazine had.  This makes life easier and since there are somewhat less side effects I am experiencing with it, I am able to continue with this blog which brings me to the topic of this post, mental illness, medication, and you.

If you suffer from a serious mental illness like I do, I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia Paranoid Type but after recent testing have been downgraded to Schizoaffective Disorder with Depression.  This illness involves having delusions of reality such as believing in conspiracy theories like the Illuminati are real and controlling your mind and life, having voices in my head that tell me to hurt myself and others, causing me to see cockroaches and mice hallucinations that appear to be very real, and cause my brain to believe I am not worthy of love, life, or consideration so I lie or tell falsehoods to make my life more entertaining much in the same way someone brags about being in a war they were never in or having myth memories that don’t exist.  It has taken a long time for me to catch myself doing this, but as I do I come clean and when I do I apologize and move on with my life.  I try not to do this.  Sometimes the illness reigns supreme and there is nothing I can do and it just happens.  I try to keep reality real whenever I can but sometimes my delusions get the best of me.  It is hard to fight.  Sometimes it’s really hard to see the delusions are taking control and, like this time, I have to fight from the rock bottom to the top again to regain my sanity.  This is a true fight and it is exhausting.  Once I begin, I realize the medication isn’t working anymore and I talk to my psychiatrist to change my medication.  Sometimes it takes a short period of time.  Sometimes it takes a long time.  This time it took a long time.  You must talk to your doctor about it as soon as you notice something is wrong.   In my dysfunctional state I would never hurt anyone, as I am aware enough to realize that that is a sign that something is awry.  I am not a danger to myself or others usually unless I am very deeply into the dysfunctional state and I was not that far gone this time.  If I do not take my medication, I suppose I could get there.  I do not ever want to try that theory out and see if that would be the case.

In my delusional state I don’t see there is anything wrong with the Illuminati controlling my mind.  It is not until I start coming out of the delusion that I realize this is untrue and is my illness destroying my reality.  To cope with it, I remind myself that it is not possible to control the mind using any kind of device and it takes me a while before I start to believe that, once I do, I change medication.  To cope with the voices in my head I listen to music or watch television programs that cause me to have different thoughts or makes me upset so the cycle is disrupted briefly.  Then I tell myself that the voices lie.  Once I begin to believe the voices are lying, I change medication.  Coping mechanisms don’t always work on one delusion to another, such as the Illuminati isn’t real I know that now but the next time it will be a microchip in my head or food I eat or whatever my brain is creative.  Then the delusion will remain until I catch on to it, which is usually a extended period of time maybe the shortest time is about two months and the longest time is several months to years.  It’s very frustrating and very exhausting.   I also become quiet and introverted, becoming turned upon myself during these periods being self consumed and rarely making outside contact with friends unless its a severe emotionally charged happening or something very dark is remembered from my past and it seeps out through all the craziness.  Myth memories usually are shared with a group of people where real memories are shared with one person personally.

It is very difficult to see when I need help until it is too late or I am deeply into a delusion or listening to the voices or both.  This makes it difficult to see when I need help or when I clearly need a medication change.  I do eventually see it and I never have gotten to the point where I hurt someone badly because I was listening to the voices or having a delusion or both.  I have tried to attempt suicide in these states of mind where I have progressed into a self destructive state where I feel it would be better if I ended the madness by ending myself.  This decision is always painful and brought on by failure to catch and use coping mechanisms to fight delusions and/or the voices in my head.  I feel so hopeless and so loveless and so worthless that I would rather die than continue existing.  I have a coping mechanism in place for when I feel this way now after three attempts to take my life.  I realize I am only passing that pain on to my surviving friends and family should I be successful and I have made a promise to my wife and friends not to do that.  So I admit myself into a hospital as soon as I feel like I am going to hurt myself and I may not be able to use my coping skills to stop such an event from occurring.  It takes a lot of willpower, but I can do it.  I have this ability.   There are many with mental illness that do not who struggle with it and then act on the impulses of the madness.  These are the people who shoot or hurt themselves and/or shoot and hurt other people.  It’s a frightening place to be.  I am saying it’s a dark place to be and it takes real strength to see it.  Not everyone has that strength.

If you have a mental illness and you need help, go to your local emergency room if you feel the need to hurt others or yourself before you act on it.  It is vitally important that if you are reading this that you realize that there are people who are going to help you even if you don’t trust them like you should.  That trust issue is part of the delusion and it could be what kills you.  What kills you and what kills someone else.  Don’t do anything stupid.  Stop what you are doing.  The voices lie.  No one can control your mind.  You need help.  Go to the emergency room and get it.  Speak until someone takes you seriously.  It will be the best thing you have ever done in your life and you will truly be free.  Take the medication.  It’s not controlling your mind, it’s making you better so you can control your mind.  Don’t stop taking it.  Even if you feel better.   Go to and get on a discussion page for people with your illness.  It will help you cope and it will help you in times of greatest need.  People care about you.  People you don’t even know.

If you have a friend or family member with a mental illness that needs help today you need to understand that what they are going through is a slice of hell.  It is dark, frightening and terrible.  It’s not going to go away or just get better.  It’s not something that just clears up.  It’s a real problem with real consequences and real issues.  Get your friend an understanding ear by just listening, take them to the hospital, call 911 for them, stand between them and the bridge (thanks Heather) and by all means understand that for them this is real.  This is terribly real and terribly haunting and they need you.  If you feel like you are in danger, call 911 and get help.  If you need to support someone with a mental illness go to and get on the support pages and find those people who are there to support you.  You’ll find a lot of caring people there and a lot of people willing to help you.  Not all people with mental illness want to be helped or can see that they have a mental illness and that can put you in a dangerous situation.  Be very careful and always have a smart backup plan and remember the buddy system.

Thank you all for your patience in my time of need.  I appreciate it.





Extremists in the United States who express the need to hurt Americans who do not submit to their extremist ideals.   People leaving the United States to become part of an extremist army hell bent on destroying good Muslims with values that are right and good.  The destruction of New York City Twin Towers on September 11, 2001.  All at the hands of Islamic Extremists.  Repeatedly, for over thirteen years, Muslim American groups have spoken out against extremism; separating ourselves from these people with soft explanations, patience, caring and loving words, expressions and essays.  Still, many look to us to see what we say every time another attack happens and we repeat those same words and phrases for another time to make people understand I have no interest in killing anyone for their beliefs.  Whether you love America, freedom, Jesus, Israel. Palestine, Buddha, the pantheon of Hindu Gods and Goddesses, your right to bear arms, or whatever the latest Islamic extremist rant is about today.  I strongly believe and respect your right to believe in the God and/or Goddess of your choice or to NOT believe in anything at all.

It is no longer my job or responsibility to apologize for all Muslims and Islam every single time some nutjob does something incredibly nutjobby.  I am no longer going to explain that not all Muslims are like that, especially me, because I don’t feel that way, never felt that way, and am never going to feel that way.  If you haven’t learned that in the last thirteen years, my re-explanation is not going to help you understand that right now.  You are probably going to espouse that prejudicial point of view regardless of what I say when I say it every time something happens.

Also, what does this say that you think about me?  Do you think that I don’t love you enough to respect your right to life?  Do you think that I would hate my country, my friends, my family and my life enough that I would turn my back on them to become or support suicide bombing or Jihadi blasphemy?  Do you really think I would support the calculated murder of people who believe differently than I do?  Who love God differently than I do?  Who strive along the same lines as I do to love my fellows on this beautiful planet and bless them, pray for them, and help them when I can?  I wouldn’t.  I love my country, all my American brothers and sisters, and I believe that compassion solves more problems than words that are hurtful or hateful.  I believe that if you love someone, treat them with respect and kindness, and honor them that all will work out and be productive and prosperous.

My communication with God is a loving one, just like yours, and my communication with my fellows is a loving one just like yours.  I am no longer going to apologize for people I have no control over.  I am no longer going to say that these people are so wrong.  I don’t ask all Christians to constantly apologize to everyone for the workings of the blasphemous Westboro Baptist Church, don’t ask me to constantly apologize for every blasphemous Islamic nutjob, either.

I wanted to wait before I posted this primarily due to its sensitive subject for so many people either pro or con for George Zimmerman and his guilt or innocence.  I don’t want to inflame either side but I also think that Rachel Jeantel is being displayed in an ugly light by most media outlets.  Rachel was on the phone with Trayvon Martin and he said that a “crazy ass cracker” was following him.  She was uncomfortable on the stand and had a bristly attitude which most media outlets misunderstood to be detriment to Ms. Jeantel’s character.  She was asked to speak up, repeat what she said for clarification, and was clearly upset by lines of questioning that echoed in pauses of uneasy silence.  It is unfair that Ms. Jeantel was unfairly judged by media and possibly the jury because of her strong and brisk personality.  I understood every word she said, I felt her frustration and her intolerance of not being listened to.  That is the majority of the problem with prejudice; the inability to listen, understand, and ask questions that clarify meaning for the listener.  That isn’t what this post is about.  This post is about Ms. Jeantel’s strong nature, standing her ground, and losing patience with the attorneys directing and cross examining her testimony.  Both sides failed to truly listen to her and she may have taken the presence of a bad attitude.  For centuries that has happened to women over and over again; if you are a sharp, strong, unmovable force to be reckoned with, there will always be one or two idiots that dismiss you as being a “bitch”.  This is why Ms. Jeantel will never be a victim.  She would not tolerate treatment of herself by others that is grating, abusive, and unworthy of her attention.  Ms.  Jeantel is the woman that shake the foundations of societal judgments that women are to be meek, take what they are given, and feel lucky to have two peanuts and a roll of toilet paper as a reasonable salary.

It is my opinion that once some people are confronted by a strong, no nonsense, pretty woman that they expect some amount of stereotypical yielding toward men.  Sometimes there are some people who can’t deal with strong women at all and label them as a bitch because she is not bendable toward their will and not her own free will.  It is especially hurtful prejudice toward women of any ethnic background, religion, culture, and success level.  The strong, unwavering woman to some people is unattractive because her tolerance threshold for ridiculousness is very low.  When a strong woman gets placed in uncomfortable circumstances, she stands up for herself and clearly draws a line in the sand that says “No.  You don’t get to treat me poorly”.  This is what Ms. Jeantel presented to the jury, defense team, and prosecution team and pretty much every home in America who cared about the case.  The cultural differences aside, there are some that prefer the fainting Victorian lady on her lacy bed.  The worst part of all this is not only that she was a woman not tolerating any crap, but she was a black, curvy woman that defied the pressure of either attorney to hamper her personality.  She was firm.  She was clear on the facts.  She had no patience with word games or spin flung by either attorney.  The problem was three fold: Ms. Jeantel is African American and expected to react poorly as a stereotype of being both a woman and a black woman, she is a teenager who has had enough (pardon my language) bullshit to last her a lifetime, and because she did not fit into a file box as a “hood rat” or uppity negro that just plays the system for what it’s worth.  She is a teenager that obviously doesn’t tolerate bullying, inappropriate behavior, or treatment that she feels is unwarranted.  Ms. Jeantel had the presence of being outside her comfort zone and her wall of defense rose quickly.

Now, if we observe without any preconceived information Ms. Jeantel’s testimony, the young teenage woman seems prickly and intolerant of her circumstance and the arena to which it played.  This is why Ms.  Jeantel is not going to be a victim, a fainting maid on her Victorian bed, or a door mat for someone to use and abuse.  Oh no, not Ms.  Jeantel.  She isn’t going to tolerate any such behavior and given that she is a strong woman, it’s going to be relationship based on what she deserves and doesn’t deserve.  She isn’t going to let anyone dog her down, hurt her, or pull her apart.  This creates an air of Ms. Jeantel that tolerates very little, gives very much, and loves her friends and mourns a friend.  The stereotype of a woman, especially a young woman teenager, is that we are supposed to have predefined responses to emotions like crying or getting angry in a way that is “ladylike” and “sweet”.  As much as I dislike the observation, but woman have been presenting as stronger in environments that are hostile.  They have to be because predators are always sizing up their prey, which Ms. Jeantel will never be because of her strength, love, and dedication to herself, her self esteem and attitude.  I can only hope that as she matures, so does her strength.

When someone says “polygamy”, the ugly face of the Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints ruled by Warren Jeffs and the cookie cutter clothes and hairdos immediately come to mind.  The darker side of polygamy exists right there in the prairie dresses and teenage marriages that cast an ugly light onto a very real and often healthy polygamous relationships.  With the Warren Jeffs fiasco, other sects of the FLDS who have nothing to do with his brainwashing or underage marriages.  As a matter of fact, these families are not protected by any law and risk arrest that will lead to the scattering, shattering and cruel handling of a loving family that works.  A good example of such healthiness exists in the relationship of Kody Brown, Meri Brown, Janelle Brown, Christine Brown and Robyn Brown chronicled in TLC’s show “Sister Wives.  It also fails to shed a light on other practiced polygamy households that observe God’s word and works through their marriage and their children’s happiness.  Muslims have long approved of plural marriage and, as a matter of fact, I have had only two non-polygamous relationships in my life one with an ex and the other with my current spouse.  All other relationships have been open, outright polygamous, and relatively happy relationships as long as they can possibly last.  In America, many people are appalled and not supportive of such relationships mainly because what they can’t entertain in their own mind remains a mystery that has fear attached to it.  The fact that there is always a period in everyone’s life where we come to choose morality and healthy relationships as a plural family unit.  It does  work, it is natural, and should be delve into the word of God, there are many polygamous relationships that exist there.  The problem is that it happens in America and brings out the ugly haters of polygamy and what it stands for.  I have been married six times, and the current relationship I have is awesome and sharing of each other exclusively.  I can’t say that it is easy to be monogamous, my life seems geared toward that but I respect my current spouse and I enjoy a monogamous relationship.

Polygamy, also called “polly” is when a man takes on numerous wives to have a long family with.  That is the reality of polygamy, not the Warren Jeffs sect that chooses wives for men.  Even in other FLDS, Muslim, and Paganism faith based households are polygamous.  For Muslims, the man must be able to treat his first wife the exact same way as the second wife both spiritually, monetarily, and physically.  Polyandry is also called “polly” but it is a woman who has many men that she is married to.  Though polyandry is not supported in Abrahamic Faith, it is supported by many others under the order of “Harm none, do as thou wilt”.  There are just as many happy families living a polyandry lifestyle that is supportive and deeply loving of one another and children.  Not everyone is cut out to be accepting of sharing their woman or man with other women or men.  To some I have stumbled into on the internet, they are hateful to such lifestyle choices with great prejudice and disdain.  People who are monogamous are often abrasive to such relationships, spewing hatred and hurtful communication to those who have healthy polly lifestyles.

A great number of both polly relationships hide their definition to avoid the police shattering their family unit because it is illegal, but such laws are often helpful to a tunnel vision opinion that all polly families live in sin and degradation.  This is simply untrue, but people hang on to old ideas to resist any meaningful change of the status quo.  It is also interesting to note that when someone is arrested and charged with polly “crime”, the family is ripped apart and forced to fracture under the cruelty of such laws.  Marriage definitions for every one is rather different.  Some people believe marriage is only for procreation and making a family with children to raise. Some people define marriage through the lens of their religion, feeling it is of celestial importance to be fruitful and multiply in a plural marriage.  The hiding of polly lifestyles in the present time represents an array of unchanging puritan evangelism that is not flexible to the Constitutional right to pursue happiness.  The conservative bases of many churches of Abrahamic religions outlaw both kinds of polly relationships on the grounds that they are righteous and whoever fails to listen to them will burn in hell for all eternity.  Then there is the chugging little train that could where some Christians fail to accept anything remotely different than vanilla sexual relationships or different ideas about the holy definition of marriage.  Then there are always those people who peep into the polly life and come away with perversion accusations.  The fear of the unknown because it may mean change gets caught up in sensational stories of group sex with wives, husbands, and lovers because they seem to feel entitled to have the only right opinion.

Warren Jeffs and his cult have forced women into marriage with older men and some of those women were minors.  The sad reality of his kind of the FLDS is not at all FLDS are like that.  These are families that work and are helpful to children and each other.  Because of Jeffs, we are all lumped into a summary box filed by those who would oppress people with an oppressive religion that gives them the right to do what Jesus/Issa told them not to do: judge others lest ye be judged.   Being polly, being gay, and lumped sum filing of labels for those they feel are perverted will somehow one day include animal/human sex, molestation of children, and the sin of gluttony will prevail and all morals be damned.  That simply isn’t true because the real polly family is about love which is still a mystery to many.

As you probably know,  Jodi Arias’ jury was unable to come up with a unanimous vote on life or death.  The jury was split 8 to 4 for the death penalty.  Arizona law, as far as I can easily research, will only accept a unanimous jury ruling of life or death punishments.  Several of the jurists who were disbanded after being unable to unanimously decide on a sentence have discussed at length on media outlets telling why they couldn’t come up with a unanimous decision and just how difficult it was to manage in the jury room.  The problem that remains is a new jury must be picked and a very abridged version of the evidence and testimony.  It is highly doubtful that this brief version of the trial, as both sides do not call witnesses to the stand.  In Arizona, the finding of Arias in the verdict stage remains upheld and so does the intentionally cruel finding.  The only thing the next jury is going to have to decide on is if she should get the death penalty or life in prison with or without the option of parole.  On July 18th, the new jury will begin to be selected and it will be by their vote that Arias’ sentence is, but is that fair and can they be sure to get jurors who have never heard of Jodi Arias, Travis Alexander’s brutal murder at her hands, and the string of experts paraded to the stand to uphold the defense’s and prosecution’s proof of Arias’ alleged abuse.  That’s not the real question though that looms in anyone’s mind.  It is the delivery of the death penalty that has taken its toll on the jury, even though they were asked to sign a paper and prepare to vote for the death penalty.

All of this begs the question:  If you were on a jury, hearing the same amount of truth, expert testimony and a grueling 18 days long testimony of the perpetrator of the crime, and autopsy photos were put up on a large screen at a time in the trial where remembering the victim was important, would you be able to dole out the death penalty after all of that?  The testimony that took five months and five years to happen paraded the sexual lives of two people, listening and watching Jodi Arias lie on the stand, and after seeing her breakdown multiple times gave the four in the jury a sense that Jodi is a living, breathing, human woman who made the worst decision in her life and brutally murdered someone that she said she loved.  There was an enormous amount of evidence linking her to the crime, the fact that she admitted that she did it after telling two falsehoods to media outlets because she was defending herself are all a part of what those 12 people are going to decide is worthy of giving her a sentence that spares her life for prison or does not support her continuance and she gets sentenced to death.  There are three women on death row in Arizona one of whom was put there by prosecutor Juan Martinez.  If you were a juror, given the extensive parade of fact, fiction, and expert testimony, could you look into Jodi’s eyes and say: “This woman deserves the death penalty.  Could you do it?

There are things to take into consideration though.  First, Jodi did take the stand and tell her story which to a jury makes her human and personable to the extent that she made an terrible error and a fatal lapse of moralistic actions.  Remember, the jury that was hung did not hear the same things we heard about Jodi on every single news station and HLN.  We know more behind the scenes issues that the jury didn’t have access to.  Second, Jodi clearly has some issues that are psychotic in nature but that also is not enough to convince four jurors to give her the death penalty.  Finally, the jury was not sequestered and essentially had to follow that admonition the Judge Stephens relayed to them every day.  There are four people, who even upon signing an agreement that they could give the death penalty in the sentencing phase, chose not to do so.  The query now is, could you decide on death or life in prison with or without parole with a clear conscious?  I don’t believe that anyone knows really what they would do in such a circumstance unless they were actively in that place.  After watching every grueling day of the hearings, I am unsure I could give the death penalty.  I would not want to be responsible for the death of any one person, no matter how terrible the crime.  I also strongly believe that Jodi hasn’t ever learned that violence against another human being is wrong.  Jealousy is an evil, treacherous emotion that when unchecked can be horrifically manifest in ugly ways that are not productive.  I honestly also believe that Jodi has a serious mental illness that is characterized with a flat affect and an inability to properly grasp psychologically healthy relationships primarily because she has issues with acceptance of it.  Jodi was very good and hitting all of Travis Alexander’s buttons in order to create a unhealthy and unstable hold on him because she was the one who deflowered him and introduced him to sexual behavior that is not vanilla.  I would not be comfortable sending anyone to death, but I would have never made the jury cut because I couldn’t say that I would sentence her to death or life in prison with or without parole.  I also disagree with people who say she deserves what she gets primarily because I do not believe that incarceration helps anyone who may have a dangerous mental illness.  That illness needs to be treated and an adequate amount of therapy may make a change in her life, but as I have learned, violent offenders very rarely ever rehabilitate.  I think that is mostly because we don’t know enough about the brain and its inner workings to properly treat and rehabilitate violent offenders.

So on the 18th of July of 2013, Jodi Arias’ new jury will be constructed and the question of her sentence will become clear hopefully for her sake and the sake of the Alexander family who have suffered terribly waiting for this closure that they need to move on.  Forgiveness is not simple and it is a journey taken by the brave and courageous.


The punishment for crime in America is being incarcerated.  There were, in 2008, about 3.1% of the United States’ population in juvenile and adult federal, state or county prisons.  We would all like to think that once someone goes to prison, that they would be willing to turn their lives around and become responsible and productive members of society.  However, this simply doesn’t happen.  The chances of a violent criminal being rehabilitated without necessary tools such as anger management classes, psychological and psychiatric therapy, and learning a trade to be used outside of prison is very slim.   Long sentences for criminal behavior along with poor opportunities for felons to be hired by companies mixed with the general idea that punishment equaling prison time as a successful solution of rehabilitation filters many through the cracks into committing repeat offenses.  Gangs along street gangs and racial gangs in Prison run rampant, forcing most members to take justice into their own hands or commit further crimes through the direction of gang leaders or pressure to serve the gang’s particular needs that result in murder, beatings, or other violence that does nothing but circulate the perpetual criminal atmosphere in prisons.  So why then isn’t something done to rehabilitate these criminals, dissolve gang issues in prison, and actually work to make these people acceptable members of society?

There are a considerable amount of criminals that don’t desire treatment or find life behind bars much easier to cope with than the daily pressures of life out of jail such as bill paying, rent paying, and employment issues.  Not all felons are career criminals, but the stigma that surrounds felons is one that breeds repeat offenses.  The idea that one already served their time as a felon or even for misdemeanors and paid their debt to society still have a debt to pay as a label is attached to them for the rest of their lives.  This doesn’t help felons get jobs, even in the stark drought of jobs for those who are not criminals, which might lead them to a better life therefore making them a better person for it.  Instead, the dark ghosts of one’s past as a felon haunts them when they go to get a well paying job in an office or otherwise secure place that does background checks on employees.  The stigma that “once a felon, always a felon” isn’t necessarily true nor is it fair to the person who has paid their debt to society via prison time.  Numerous placement companies, like temporary agencies, don’t hire those with a criminal background and after months of not being able to eat, find a place to live, and earn a decent living devolves into the desperate criminal mind willing to do “whatever needs to be done” to make it through life.  It simply isn’t fair that forgiveness for one’s felonious past just doesn’t happen in the employment realm.  It seems that it is easier to enter into selling drugs, running with a gang, or committing a violent crime out of frustration over employment for those who live in stark, abject poverty and have previously committed a crime.  Perhaps the former offender got out of prison belonging to the gang while in and feels a sense of loyalty to the gang or is forced into loyalty by an oppressive lack of other opportunities or actual rehabilitation while in and a life crime becomes attractive because there is nothing else for them.  It might seem lazy, almost stagnant, to enter a life of crime in the hood because that is what is expected of you, the only option you have, or lack of real coping skills and mechanisms to change were never introduced to the former offender while in prison.  It becomes a terrible and dangerous cycle of neglect for one’s self, while pressures of daily life and the tools in which to deal with it while stagnating in prison were absent.

Most gangs in prison are permitted to operate without being stopped by officials at the prison.  Divides in racial lines runs so deep in prison, prisoners are often refusing to room with people who are enemies of their “race” because of gangs.  How is such a thing allowed to go on and why is it happening?  Because no one really cares about criminals once they get their sentence and are put away.  Even if that person was later exonerated by DNA evidence, society at large fails to care.  The average person in America never stops to think that a black guy in prison is being stabbed right now by the Aryan Nation.  Once the jail cell door shuts, that’s the last time anyone thinks of that person.  The average prisoner is forced to join a gang once in prison and may be asked by that gang to commit criminal acts in prison generally unchecked by prison officials.  They keep track of who is in what gang, but do nothing to break up that gang in an effective manner or even curb the gang’s exploits in prison except to run preventive measures to maintain the “peace” in prison if you could even call it that.  They have a special gang unit that studies the behavior, tracks members, and keeps a close eye on operation of the gang; without providing other alternatives that could be effective in changing them even if they commit crimes in prison.  Only the well behaved are given bonuses like working, group counseling or even individualized counseling.  While that’s applauded, the other percentage of prisoners who are not good ones don’t get an opportunity and often fall through the massive cracks of non-rehabilitation.  However, I also believe there are those prisoners who will never be rehabilitated and that such things might be wasted on them; but the lack of even trying to help them with tools to fight the criminal behavior and triggers isn’t helping anyone.  While the famous Joe Arpaio might be making prisoners wear pink and is tough on prisoners, his lack of doing anything to rehabilitate them is maddening along with his attitude that prison should be nasty and hard.  It doesn’t really stop the career criminal from committing his next robbery or whatever because he has no other life skills.  It doesn’t help anyone but is successful in making them unduly miserable and forlorn which is what they are feeling anyway down the track to criminal behavior.

Give everyone a chance to do a job, even if it’s in their cells working on making crafts or in a shop building caskets, it would help if everyone is given a job.  Let them farm some of the prison land for food to sustain themselves.  Let them do something other than sit in a cell for 23 hours per day with an hour of outside time.  Poetry.  Artwork.  There are a million things they could be allowed to do to make money for the prison and eventually for themselves.   With the money they gain from that, they must pay room and board, that way they have an incentive to work and are given a positive life tool to be able to survive in life.  Get counseling for those who are violent offenders and even those who are not.  It not like they aren’t worth it somehow, because they are.  Groups to fight drug addiction in prison should be happening and outside sponsors who can follow them after release should be happening too to give them options on how to live their lives.  Teach them a trade, I know that GED classes are available, but so should a trade class.  Let them learn how to do something that they can do after release, no matter when that release date might be, no matter what the sentence, no matter where they are housed.  Sure, there’s always going to be those people that continue to exhibit negative behavior.  Those people lose the opportunities or are suspended from them and meet room and board anyway.  They have to learn something, sometime and if they don’t, then they are where they belong…in prison.

It’s your tax money.  It’s your responsibility to see that it works for you, no matter who the person is or where they come from.  If everyone took a little time to volunteer and actually do something about it, we might produce more responsible and conscience residing ex-felons instead of career criminals.  The “Thug Life” and it’s need to continue in our culture needs to dissolve and further, if we want the shootings, drug dealing, and criminal behavior to stop, we have to take on our own responsibility to help someone in need of help.  Life in prison doesn’t need to be miserable, it needs to be productive.  I would buy prison made artwork, tee shirts, china…anything they produced as a way of supporting these people who need our love, commitment, and help.  The people who don’t rehabilitate, like pedophiles and violent offenders, perhaps need help that we can’t offer and maybe their suffering should be necessary if they continue and offend over and over.  Those are the people that need the prison time and deserve it; but what if we could do something special for them that would change their whole life?  What if just 15 minutes of saying, “Hey you can change and I’m here to help” would make a difference?  One doesn’t know until one tries.




A Virginia man, who had “strong feelings” about those who do not treat homosexuals well, is accused of shooting the Family Research Council manager in the arm.  The shooting brought to light the Southern Poverty Law Center’s determination that the Family Research Council, also known as FRC, is a hate group due to misinformation and propaganda that directly sheds a negative and untrue light on homosexuality, bisexuality, and corrected gender individuals.  The designation, long under fire by the FRC and those that support them such as the AFA which I posted on earlier, is currently standing and the Southern Poverty Law Center has absolutely no intention of removing  it.  So the question remains, is the FRC a hate group and such a designation worthy of this organization?  Well let’s take the facts as they come from the FRC website.  On this website, you’ll find lots of information to peruse, also a lot of information about what the FRC stands for considering it’s notoriously conservative Chrstian extremist viewpoints.  Let’s review.

In a ten point article discussing the harm homosexual marriage will provide to people, which you can read here, or I can summarize for you generally also, the FRC statement on issues is discussion of a hateful if not prejudice nature.  Taxpayers (including businesses and consumers in short) would subsidize same sex couples by paying taxes that benefits them directly via government mandate should it come to that.   Point one goes on to say that Social Security benefits is the homosexual lobby’s biggest target because, heaven forbid, the spouse of a dead homosexual may get marriage benefits rightly theirs via government money.  Point two, Schools will teach that homosexual relationships are equal to heterosexual ones.  The article goes on to say that they are not because it may bring discussion about how two women can have vaginal penetration via a sex toy or dildo in schools as early as kindergarten which is strongly and morally not the homosexual lobby’s plan.  Thus misinformation is transmitted via this article and we’re only at POINT TWO, but nothing like the fact that private religious schools will have people attending them that do not subscribe to their particular faith introducing a kind of heathenism into the secular school, which is also not the point of the Lobby.  Point three, Freedom of conscience and religious liberty would be threatened.  Primarily due to the fact that somewhere in the bible homosexuality is outed as being “unnatural” and even though Jesus said nothing about it, the religious liberty that one cannot condone same sex marriage infringes directly on their right to be religiously endowed to persecute and exhibit prejudice related  to homosexuals, bisexuals and corrected gender people.  First, this would be severely unconstitutional and secondly, no one is asking them to bear with it and be okay with it.  They can oppose it all they want, just like the KKK currently opposes racial mixing and racial diversity and equality.  Point four, Fewer people would marry.  In the narrow wind tunnel that is the FRC view, fewer heterosexuals would seek out the designation as “married” because it is rendered meaningless by same sex marriage and equality.  Point five, Fewer people would remain monogamous and remain sexually faithful.  The  article then dispenses information on gay couples, who according to studies, are unable to keep it in their pants and thus the spread of AIDS and general mayhem supporting infidelity because of their relationships would eventually infect heterosexual couples that were minding their own business and suddenly caught the infidelity virus from those pesky gays.  Point six, Fewer people would remain married for a lifetime, is so remotely and generally uncivil that the article’s author sites other studies that are revealing that out of 156 gay couples, only a handful were together longer than 5 years.  Sadly, I know of many relationships of gay men that have lasted two decades or more, without any infidelity, without any kind of trust issues, and without divorce should they have been married for that period of time.  The absurdity of this study ridiculously twisted to respectively convert facts into misinformation is outstandingly ridiculous and laughable at best.  On to point seven, Fewer children would be raised by a father and a mother, with details on the fact that children would be raised by two moms or two dads and thus spell the end of the traditional mother father household.  Unfortunately, the author neglects that most of the children raised today are raised by either a single father or single mother and blended families on a whole are on the rise.  Again, misinformation designed to instigate fear, hatred, and prejudice viewpoints are encouraged.  Point eight, More children would grow up fatherless, without any real basis though spouting fanatically altered reports that children would not have fathers and that this hurts everyone is so insanely absurd, I may have suffered a stroke.   Point nine, The birthrate would fall, is another one that sadly has nothing to do with homosexual, bisexual or corrected gender relationships, but is presented in such a manner that one must surely expect that in order for a woman married to another woman is to get sperm from an unsuspecting donor being horrifically wrong or the option of adopting some seven million American children up for adoption might be a bad thing is directly misinformation dispensing.  The tenth and final point is Demands for legalization of polygamy would grow.  The very crux of this very point, and the article in brief summary, is that if one cannot control what his or her neighbor does in the privacy of their own home and that the demand for equality between all people is recognized and legitimized via federal, state, and constitutional amendment, the world as we know it will end and one should be afraid, very afraid.

The designation as a hate group is based on speech, production of information, propaganda manufacturing, misinformation, stating half truths as fact, and outright downright lies as sudden truth is exactly what has earned FRC this designation and will be the exact thing that maintains that designation on par with a list of cults and rather undercurrent contained ridicule based groups who manufacture hate on a broad scale is exactly what this organization is, by and large.  However, since the average American Christian conservative extremist reads fact from anything and believes that the internet and bible do not lie, perhaps the gullibility factor of the FRC and its influence among the moronic underbelly of America will eventually evolve into something other than a walking, talking idiot branded and hellbent on destroying the lives of innocent people engaging in their pursuit of happiness afforded to them by the United States of America Constitution.   You know, that thing that gives them the right to freedom of religion and speech in order to predetermine who gets to enjoy the benefits of marriage and who does not.

On June 5, 2011 in Minnesota, CeCe McDonald and her friends were subjected to racist and hateful verbal attacks while passing a bar on their way to a local store.  CeCe was attacked by one of the women who announced she could “take them all on” who broke a bottle on her face causing an injury that required stitches on her cheek.  She was making an attempt to leave the scene by walking across the street when a man followed her.  Fearing for her life, CeCe defended herself against the man by stabbing him with a scissors.  The man later died.  She later received medical care, getting stitches on her cheek, and went two months in custody without a follow up appointment.   The prosecutor of the case, a man self proclaimed as the “Michael Jordan of prosecutors” ignored public interest to free CeCe and instead decided to prosecute “harder”.  Though the man she stabbed had a swastika on his chest, that fact was considered inadmissible evidence for the trial.  The prosecutor claimed it would incite undue anger at the victim of the crime.  Further, even though she defended herself with a weapon against someone who did not have one, the nature of the attack proceeding the stabbing, and the fact that violence had already injured her the prosecutor maintained his stance to convict her.  While I’m sure CeCe isn’t allowed to talk about the case, it seems to me from obvious deduction that a trial by jury could have easily resulted in a life sentence for murder.  Instead, Ms. McDonald took a plea agreement for second degree manslaughter which carries a prison term of 41 months.  What makes this case so very different is that CeCe McDonald is a corrected gender woman who was attacked after being called “nigger”, “chicks with dicks”,”faggot”, and it was suggested that CeCe dressed as she did so she could “rape” the man she eventually stabbed.

CeCe is serving her sentence in a men’s prison because her transition has not been completed.  While she and her supporters on a site dedicated to supporting CeCe are not interested in having her transferred to a female prison, most probably because her sentence is rather short, but are interested in having people who feel CeCe’s pain support her in prison by sending letters and books to her.  Guidelines for doing so can be found here.  The crux of the matter remains:  Would CeCe have incited the prosecutor’s wrath had she been a woman who needed not to transition?  Alas, that remains a mystery; however considering that a very obvious symbol tattooed on the victim’s chest was inadmissible and perhaps the nature of the dispute resulting in a violent confrontation should speak volumes to the public who may need information on the discrimination of corrected gender people, the plight that racism is alive and very well in America, and the hate gay, lesbian, bisexual, and polysexual people must endure in parts of America.  It is fair to note that this kind of discrimination goes on in backstreet and main street America every single day.  The results can be grim.  There are many who are unable to endure the prejudice of their communities when coming out who commit suicide every single day.  Such despair casts a shadow pall on all being created equal, the pursuit of happiness, and the rights to freedom afforded by the United States Constitution.

The argument runs long that being gay, lesbian, bisexual, polysexual and corrected gender is “abhorrent” in the eyes of their chosen “God”.   Equality for them is denied because they believe marriage should be between “one man and one woman”.   The very best example of bigotry and hatred was Huckabee’s Support Chick-Fil-A Day, which pointed in the face of every citizen of America and showed them you must conform to the majority’s narrow view of what you have the right to do in your own life.  It didn’t succeed in making me back down from supporting my sisters and brothers equality.  What it did do was prove that prejudice is alive and well in the US.   It proved that we had not come very far from our days of segregation, disallowing women to vote, and being shackled by others who hate with a righteous fervor.   A black woman going to school brought great anger in communities long ago and still do in some areas today.  A woman, who has every right to walk down the street with whomever she wishes and regardless of whether she was born a woman or not, is still not safe in America.   It’s a shame that our corrected gender sisters and brothers must contend with such danger every single day, much less our gay, lesbian, bisexual and polysexual ones too, because somewhere there is always someone willing to kill another person they view as a sinner, pervert, or enemy of the societal norms they are unwilling to evolve above.

I would like to take a moment to ask you to send an appropriate message to CeCe, using the guidelines provided, to let her know that she has many more sisters and brothers than she originally thought.  I can’t even imagine how terrible it is for her in prison around predators waiting for her moment of weakness.  I can’t imagine what it must be like to made to feel sorry for one’s pursuit of happiness, to be afraid every day that this could be the time I could be attacked, and that loneliness that surely comes from being confined like an animal.  The current state of our prison systems do not afford the luxury of rehabilitation, but instead offer new and painful ways to remain a criminal by forcing gang affiliation through which crimes are committed.  The perpetuation of criminal behavior in prison serves as another training ground to permit the criminal to achieve new and better crimes.  Some prisons, such as the one in Miami Dade, Florida, where rats and disgusting conditions subject prisoners to all kinds of bacterial infections.   How responsible are we as a nation to throw people away and expect them to pull themselves out of the trash can when we keep them in there?  We put the lid on the trash can and put it out of sight and mind.   I agree that some criminals are lifelong criminals, they do deserve life sentences in prison, but they also deserves some tool that may help them grow into a productive member of society.

Write CeCe and show our girl some LOVE!




Important Message

I normally don’t do this type of thing, but the irretrievable damage this young special needs child suffered at the hands of a tenured teacher named Kelly, an aide named Jodi, and another worker at the school named Judi. Please share this link with everyone you can, it is very important that this is seen and shared. Thank you.